


Every Time I Hear That Song

by turningthepages



Series: He Wouldn't Be Gone [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Dean Talks About Feelings, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Insecure Castiel, Insecure Dean, M/M, Mild Smut, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 00:57:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13178964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turningthepages/pseuds/turningthepages
Summary: It'd all been a huge misunderstanding yet picking up the pieces and placing their lives back together isn't as easy as Castiel thought it was going to be. Sometimes, even when you love each other and want more than anything to be together, it's too hard to look past the hurt.A follow up toHe Wouldn’t Be Gone





	Every Time I Hear That Song

**Author's Note:**

> Please read [He Wouldn’t Be Gone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261616%20) first. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hello! I finally did it. So many people asked me to write a sequel to He Wouldn't Be Gone, following how Dean and Castiel came back together after their year apart as well as glimpses into Cas's mine leading up to the breakup. I hope that this satisfies all of you, or most of you! Thank you for loving He Wouldn't Be Gone enough to give this one a chance as well. <3
> 
> I do want to mention that there is a scene where Sam tells Castiel that he believed Dean would killed himself post-breakup. I want to clarify that Dean was NOT suicidal but Sam had never seen his brother grieve so much before, he simply didn't know what Dean would be capable of at that time in his life.

_He still breathes the same._

Two thoughts had flittered through Castiel’s mind as he woke up in midnight darkness. His first being, _Is this real? Is Dean really back in my arms?_

And when he heard the man he loves, beyond life itself simply breathe into the quiet calmness they were wrapped in, Castiel almost wept with each breath.

_Long inhale. Pause. Exhale. Small inhale. Pause. Exhale._

Pain clenched in his chest knowing he’d been without the steady patterns of Dean Winchester—his breathing, his heartbeat, his love—for too long. A year they’d been separated and Castiel hated that he was the cause of it all. Why had he been so thoughtless? Why had he thrown it all away? And for what? 

He’d been so very wrong about all of it. So certain that Dean’s love for him had waned and led him into the arms of another. And Castiel had walked out. On the life they built together, on all the plans they’d made for a family, on all the love and happiness they’d found in each other. He threw it all away and just the thought of his actions felt like a serrated knife plunging itself into his heart over and over. 

Dean had wanted to marry him. To solidify the bond that Castiel felt from the moment he’d met him outside some run down gas station at an early morning hour no one should ever be awake. Dean never intended to leave him for another, he was going to commit himself to Castiel for life. And Castiel had let his insecurities take him away from the love of his life before Dean even had a chance to propose. 

The night before, Dean had said. That’s when Castiel had left him. Why hadn’t Castiel just waited one more night? 

It tore at something deep within Cas—remembering the way Dean had fallen to his knees the night he’d left. Castiel had thought it all for show, had assumed Dean was groveling to such an extreme because he was shocked he’d been caught. Never in Castiel’s wildest thoughts had the way Dean begged through heavy tears meant that Dean was truly anguishing over the loss of their relationship. 

He hated himself for ever putting Dean through that. For promising Dean he’d never hurt him, never leave him, never stop loving him, and then pulling the rug out from under him. 

He wouldn’t ever be able to forgive himself but no matter how much he longed to go back to that day nearly a year ago and never walk out that front door, he had to face the facts: he couldn’t change the past. 

He pulled the man in his arms a little tighter, throat clenching with emotion. The past year had really worn him, aged him, and tore him apart in ways he didn’t know possible. All of the repressed emotion he’d trapped down after a week of crying over the loss of his and Dean’s love bubbled to the surface. To think that if he hadn’t taken a chance last night and just talked to Dean, he wouldn’t have the man in his arms right now… or ever again.   
But through the grace of some higher being, he got Dean back and he swore, with all his being, that from that moment on he’d never let Dean go again. Not without a fight.

* * *

_All his senses were more heighted than they had been in so long. His suit felt too stiff, his collar too itchy. The toes of his shoes were pinching in a way he knew would probably leave behind raw spots when he took them off at the end of the night. He could feel all eyes flickering to him every few moments, waiting for what he’d do next. Waiting for some inevitable showdown they all expected to happen just because his ex had decided to accept his cousin’s invitation to her wedding._

_Of course the man in question had every right to be at said wedding. Castiel knew Anna and he had been friends for far longer than he and Castiel had ever dated but the point still stood. Did Dean Winchester think he could waltz into this wedding after what he’d done to Castiel?_

_Perhaps he didn’t though. Castiel noticed Dean hadn’t so much as made eye contact with another guest for longer than three seconds. He also kept exclusively to the outside of the groups, as far from socialization as possible—the complete opposite of his usual charismatic self. And what with the way he hid behind his drinks, Castiel knew Dean was uncomfortable, ready to flee the moment he could, though he was in no position to with how much he’d already drank._

_And damnit if Cas wasn’t worried about the idiotic decision making that was inevitably going to occur._

_“Don’t even think about it Castiel.”_

_“Think about what, Mother?” He growled. Naomi was five cocktails in and was starting to stare lecherously at one of the groomsmen half her age. Castiel shuddered at the thought, and knew he really didn’t want to be around for that cougar hunt to commence._

_His mother brought the martini glass up to her lips and scowled as if Castiel had asked the most ridiculous question. “Going over to that boy. You’re doing exceptional without him. No need to sully your attitude with speaking to him.”_

_Castiel sighed. He knew his mother had been watching him like a hawk since the moment Dean stepped into the church, but he thought they had a mutual agreement to never actually speak about the man again. Still, Castiel couldn’t help but voice his concerns._

_“He’s been drinking. He shouldn’t drive in his condition and I know he’s thinking about it.”_

_“I fail to see how that is your concern. If he wants to be wasteful with his life then that’s on him and not you.”_

_“Mother, please.”_

_“I’ll never understand what you saw in him. Not even a college degree or a responsible bone in his body. If you ask me, you getting rid of that deadweight was the best thing to ever happen to you. How he could cheat on someone as brilliant and well to do as you is beyond me, but I’m so happy you’re finally becoming the man I always knew you could be. Now if you could only just pursue Hannah a little further, and perhaps settle down, you’d be so much happier. That Winchester can go wrap his car around a pole for all I care. He hurt you, and you’re doing better than he is. Just look at him. Not worth your time.”_

_“Mother, I’m appreciative for the sentiment but I grew a life with Dean. I loved him beyond what I ever thought I was capable. Now forgive me for wanting to ensure that he’s safe and alive. I understand that he hurt me and I can never forgive him for what he did, but I cannot, in good conscious let that man put himself in harms way.”_

_“Promise me you won’t let him sink his hooks into you again.”_

_He looked over at Dean tucked away in the corner of the bar, away from its other patrons. His back was tense, sensing all the eyes on him, no doubt with the way Castiel’s aunts, uncles, and cousins were circling around the place like vultures. Had it been a year ago, Cas wouldn’t have hesitated to rub the tension out of those broad shoulders, whispering all the other ways he’d like to loosen Dean up that night, distracting him from the judgmental eyes that would have certainly come their way—Castiel’s family never did understand the **appeal** of a relationship with someone blue collar. It’d always been fun to give them something to stare at. _

_That is until it all went to shit. Until Dean found some young, probably blonde, most certainly perfect, undoubtedly attractive woman to fuck on the side, ripping out Castiel’s heart in the process._

_“I promise. Never again.”_

* * *

Feather light touches trailed through his hair as he came back to the land of the living. It’d been far too long since he’d slept that soundly. Contently. 

Loved.

He almost didn’t want to open his eyes. Terrified by the thought that the solid weight next to him and the sweet smell of home would be ripped from him the moment he did. What if it was only for one night? The way Dean had touched him, clutched at him like he didn’t want to let Cas go felt like a promise of more… but what if? What if Dean couldn’t forgive Cas for hurting him the way he did?

Kisses were being pressed to his face, a soft mantra of “wake up” being breathed into each touch of lips. 

“Don’t wanna.” 

“Wake up.” Dean’s lips hovered just out of reach, and with each centimeter Castiel tried to move forwards, those perfect lips evaded him.

“I’m awake, I’m awake.” He protested, locking his fingers in Dean’s short hair and tugging their lips together. The kiss softened into something delicate, no hint of desperation like there had been last night. They only pulled apart when they had to breathe. 

“Did you have sweet dreams?” Dean asked. 

“I did. But waking up was even sweeter.” 

Dean’s smile had always been radiant, a beacon home that Cas would never grow tired of. He smiled softly back up at Dean and just basked in the ability to be able to look into those eyes again. They were the same, but parts of them were different. There were deeper lines around the corners, hits of blue bruises underneath that spoke of fitful or lack of sleep. The crease on Dean’s forehead, the one that only came when he was too stressed or too upset was more prominent now than it had been a year ago. 

Castiel was the one to do this. 

He frowned to himself, and watched Dean’s smile turn to confusion. 

“Do you—do you regret it?” Cas asked hesitantly, sweeping his thumb across all the new lines in Dean’s features. “Last night? I just—I need to know. I need to know now before I let myself hope…” 

“I don’t regret it.” Dean said quickly. “I don’t regret it at all.” 

“Promise me?” 

“I promise. I didn’t expect this to happen. If I’m being honest, I really thought last night would be hell on earth.” 

Castiel laughed softly, thinking back to how worked up he’d been while getting ready. The thought of seeing Dean again had him sweating buckets. For weeks he’d fretted over what he was going to do if Dean brought a plus one… Should Castiel himself bring a plus one? His mother had encouraged (forced) him to go on more than a handful of dates with Hannah—Hannah would probably even say yes to accompanying him to the wedding but he harbored no feelings towards her. She felt more like a sister to him than anything. He knew she felt it too. 

But if he brought someone to the wedding and Castiel happened to make a fool of himself—like breaking down crying because a year without Dean Winchester felt like Hell—he didn’t want to put his guest through that. So instead, he’d let his mother dictate what he was to wear, who he should speak with, and who he should dance with because he really thought seeing Dean again would break him. 

“I did too.” He admitted. Dean laughed a little. 

“For a while there I actually thought your family was planning my execution as entertainment for the night.” 

“You’re not wrong...” 

“Cas!” Dean chuckled loudly with a small, nudge. “You could have lied, you know.” 

He pulled Dean down into a kiss, just because he could. “I’ve no doubt they’ll be thinking of ways to murder me after I tell them everything.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You know my family.” Dean shrugged his affirmation. “They hate to be misinformed, and after I tell them the truth about what happened between us, they’re going to be furious that I didn’t have the facts. My mother will be livid that she has to tell the women at her book club that I’m back with a man. Correction, a _middle class_ man. She hasn’t changed much.” 

“The horror!” 

Castiel was glad that Dean knew to take his mother’s words and actions with a grain of salt. Naomi had grown up with a chip on her shoulder… never as smart and successful as her older brother Chuck, never as beautiful and powerful as her baby sister Amara. She had three failed marriages and only one son while her older brother had a publishing company and five successful sons and Amara owned a business empire with her husband Richard Roman and their three successful daughters. 

Castiel loved his mother, but Naomi could be a hard pill to swallow most days. 

“She’ll live.” He supplied, knowing his mother would pitch a fit when he told her but not caring in the least. He was however, forming a pit in his stomach with the thought of how Dean’s family would think about it all. Not really wanting to know the answer, he asked anyway. “How will Sam react?” 

“Honestly? I don’t imagine that going well at all. That’s why I’m not gonna tell him. Not for a while at least.” 

Castiel couldn’t beat down his disappointment. “What?” 

“What?” 

“What do you mean you’re not going to tell him?” 

“Cas—why would I?” 

Castiel sat up, gently pushing Dean off of him to sit against the headboard. Dean looked worried as Cas settled the sheets over his lower half and ran his fingers through his unkempt hair. “Why would you tell him? Maybe because were back together? Because it was a huge misunderstanding and we have the chance to fix this? Because I thought you wanted this too—“ 

“I do want this!” Dean cut him off. “Trust me, I want this so much. But Cas—Sam and Bobby are not your biggest fans.” 

“I understand that, but after you explain everything to them—“ 

“Explain to them that you thought I’d cheated on you and you left before I could explain myself to you? How exactly do you think they’ll take that?” 

Cas opened and closed his mouth, not sure what to say to that. He knew he messed up, knew he had to have broken Dean’s heart so deeply that Sam and Bobby would be rightfully pissed at him but he didn’t think that warranted keeping them getting back together a secret. “So you’re just not going to tell them?” 

“I’ll tell them. Just—not yet. Don’t you think we need to figure things out between us before we start telling everyone?” 

“What do we need to figure out? We love each other. We want to build a family together. We want to be together.” 

As he said the words, Castiel knew he wasn’t being fair. He couldn’t ask Dean to be one hundred percent all in, if the year he’d gone though had felt anything like Castiel’s own. Were they still the same people anyone? Did they still want the same things? His heart told him that they did, but is doubt couldn’t be dimmed. It terrified Castiel to no end that if they didn’t go and scream it to the whole world that maybe it wouldn’t be real, that it would go away as quickly as it started. 

Dean either sensed Castiel’s distress or needed the comfort too because he reached forward to lace their hands together atop the sheets. “I think I just need some time to adjust to this again. This was all so sudden, and I really do want it but… I need to be able to trust you again.” 

“I’m so sorry… I’m so so sorry.” 

Before Castiel could begin listing off every grievance he’d committed, Dean cut him off with a kiss, moving to straddle Cas’s lap over top the sheets. “Stop. Let’s not start that now.” 

“What do you suggest we do?” 

“Take it slow?” 

Cas chuckled, “When have we ever been known to take things slow?” 

“Maybe that’s part of the problem. We rushed things and skipped some of the big stuff.”

“We’re starting over?” 

Dean nodded thoughtfully, “More like resetting.” 

Castiel knew his voice was timid, he didn’t know if he liked the sound of this. Maybe Dean didn’t really want him back. “Till when?” He asked. 

Even though there was an air of uncertainty between them, Dean still tried to lighten the mood, he settled further onto Castiel’s lap, making his intentions clear. “Hmm... like date three?” 

“Oh yeah?” Castiel asked, playing along. “What happened on date three, I don’t remember?” 

Dean lowered his lips to Cas’s ear. “Let me show you.”

* * *

_“Excuse me?” He really didn’t want to look like a creep, but he was out of options. His phone was dead, he had no change to use the payphone, and even if the unhelpful person at the register let him use the gas station’s phone, Castiel had no idea who to call. He didn’t have his phone to look up the number. Maybe his car had a button he could press? He didn’t know, he got it second hand off of Anna when she upgraded to a newer version._

_The man who’d walked out of the station had a cup of coffee in his hands and a package of powdered donuts. He looked around himself as if he were expecting Castiel to be speaking to anyone other than him. Cas knew he looked strange, in a dimly lit part of a gas station at four in the morning sporting a trench coat. He tried to look as friendly as possible._

_“What’s up?” The other man asked unsurely._

_“I hate to bother you at this hour but do you know how to change a tire?”_

_The other man settled his cup and donuts atop a huge black muscle car. “Your tire blew at 4 in the morning? That’s crap luck, man.”_

_“I agree…. I guess I hit a pothole or something.”_

_“That’ll do it.” Castiel watched as the man moved to the back of his car and popped the trunk, he pulled out a toolbox before slamming it shut. “Do you have a spare?”_

_“I—I do. Thank you!” Castiel said relieved, moving to show the other man where the tire was. He didn’t want to be stranded any longer than he had to. He of course didn’t want to put this guy out, in case he was headed somewhere. Work probably. “If this is too much trouble, I can try and call for AAA.”_

_“Nah, those guys take their sweet ass time getting to stranded folks. I’m actually a mechanic so I can get this fixed for you in my sleep.”_

_“You’re a life saver.”_

_“You can just call me Dean.”_

_Dean reached out and offered his hand, and Castiel took it quickly. If it weren’t for his stressed out state before, Castiel might have noticed how handsome this man was already. He was tall, just slightly more so than Castiel. He looked like a mans’ man, denim jeans, work boots, and a flannel to boot; his face had sharp features, pointed nose, sharp jawline, a delicious layer of scruff—but there was something soft about it too, his lips maybe? No, his eyes. They looked brown in the darkness, as all eyes do but there was a gentleness to them that had Castiel trusting this man in no time at all._

_“I’m Castiel.” He finally said, after probably holding the handshake too long._

_“I’m glad I just happened by this particular gas station, Castiel.”_

_Dean winked in his direction before moving down to assess Cas’s tire. Castiel’s heart did a quick flop in his chest. He knew better than to think that this man would ever be interested in other men (most men he was attracted to weren’t, sadly) but that didn’t stop his mind from supplying all the things he’d still like to do with this wet dream–on-legs._

_It could have been anyone who happened by the gas station at this hour, yet out of the hundreds of people (okay, perhaps dozens) who could have driven down this particular road on this particular night and stopped at this particular gas station at the same time Castiel needed help…._

_Surely it was a coincidence._

_But that didn’t mean Castiel wasn’t glad for it. “I am too.”_

* * *

He’d though, for a brief moment, as they made pancakes together that he’d be moving back in. It was still his home after all. They’d built it together. It was where they belonged together. He didn’t mention it, for fear of his wishful thinking getting the better of him. (For fear of Dean rejecting him). 

He chose to wait. Wait until Dean was ready to have him back in their home. 

One week. Two weeks. One month later and Castiel was still coming home to his cold, empty condo. Not even when Dean would come over for dinner, wake up in his bed, did it feel like the place Castiel wanted to call home. He had a home already—one with granite countertops, vaulted ceilings, and a bed that held his favorite person. He didn’t blame Dean though, not even a little. Castiel knew it wasn’t his right to be welcome back into their home, he knew he’d royally screwed up and he owed Dean his patience and understanding. 

So he’d beat down the gnawing thoughts in his brain deep in the thickness of night that told him maybe Dean didn’t want him back in their home, in their bed. That maybe Dean never would want that from him again. He’d pull the extra pillow closer to his chest, the pillow that now started to smell faintly of Dean, and he’d tell himself that Dean _did_ love him—Dean promised he loved him. 

He made the mistake of not believing Dean last time. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again. 

He could be patient.

For Dean.

* * *

_“What’s up with you Clarence?”_

_He was distracted. He’d come over after work per Meg’s request, just to catch up and talk about life. They’d known one another since college and had become hesitant friends when they’d been paired together for an essay during some general education course. She too had gone for veterinary medicine, Castiel had later found out, and they’d stuck together throughout the years. Meg changed career paths a few years out of college and now found herself working as a mortician. It suited her somehow, better than being a veterinarian did._

_She was a good friend, perhaps his best friend aside from Dean. He liked that Meg was unapologetically herself, spoke what was on her mind. But he hated that she could read him like a book… something that only comes with years and years of friendship. He knew she wouldn’t let up unless he told her why’d he’d been sitting on her couch huffing and puffing to the throw pillows._

_“Dean has been acting… bizarre… lately.” He wasn’t one to talk about his relationship problems with others but he needed to get this off his chest. Maybe get some guidance in what to do next._

_“More than usual?” Meg asked snidely._

_“Meg.”_

_“What? You know how I feel about him. You’re out of his league but that’s not my problem.”_

_Castiel rolled his eyes. He absolutely hated when she said things like that, but he didn’t want to argue. He wanted to hear what Meg had to think about what was happening between him and Dean because he really and truly didn’t know. “He’s—he’s been more secretive as of late.”_

_“How?”_

_“He’s coming home late and not telling me why and he’s so tired lately too.”_

_“Sounds like he’s got a side piece.”_

_It felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “Megan!”_

_“What? You think a playboy like that can stick to one person forever?”_

_“Dean loves me.” He said with certainty. That was one thing he knew for certain. They might have fallen in love quickly, faster than people though possible, but they both knew that it was real._

_“Does he though? If he’s keeping secrets about where he is at night?”_

_He didn’t want to hear this from her. He didn’t know what he was thinking. Meg had never liked Dean, never bothered to give him a chance. It’s why despite her being his closest and oldest friend he didn’t want to spend time with her as often as he once had._

_“I’m going home.”_

_“Don’t be that way.”_

_“You’re insulting my relationship and the love I have for Dean. I’m not standing for that anymore.”_

_“Castiel, wait. I’m sorry!”_

_He didn’t care to listen to her apologies. He was too frustrated._

_Frustrated that his best friend could jump to such awful conclusions. Frustrated that he’d thought she’d help ease his worries. Frustrated that his boyfriend wasn’t giving him straight answers when he asked why’d he’s been working so much lately, and coming home so late. Frustrated that he hadn’t gotten laid in three weeks and five days._

_Castiel drove to his mother’s house, still seeing red. He surprised even himself by doing so. If anyone, he should have driven to Anna’s house… but her and Dean were close. He didn’t want to complain to his cousin about one of her best friends and make her question Dean’s motives. Not when there had to be a genuine reason Dean has been acting so weird lately._

_And although his mother lacked empathy with most people, and could be as pleasant to listen to as nails on a chalkboard—Castiel knew his mother loved him and tried her best._

_It was still late afternoon, not too late that his mother would have gone to bed, but later than a guest would usually arrive so it wasn’t surprising to see a look of confusion on her face as she opened the front door. “Castiel? What are you doing here sweetheart?”_

_“I just need a break.”_

_“What did that boy do?” She sighed, following Castiel into the living room._

_“Nothing!” He protested automatically before huffing. “Well—not nothing but nothing extreme.”_

_“Use your words. I can’t stand when you babble like this.”_

_He fiddled with the tassels of a throw pillow, debating if he should even open up this can of worms with his mother. He knew how she felt about Dean (similar to Meg’s own feelings) but he also knew his mother could be objective. She could think things through rationally and make an informed opinion without bias, it’s what made her a great lawyer._

_“Dean hasn’t been home as much lately.” He decided to start with. “He’s been tired and secretive about where he is. And we—and we haven’t been intimate in quite a while. When I brought it up to Meg though, she assumed instantly that he was cheating. But I know Dean, I know he’d never do that to me. So I believe it’s something I did… and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him.”_

_“You need to look at this objectively Castiel.” His mother insisted. “What are the reasons he could be coming home late?”_

_“He told me he’s been working more.”_

_“Why is that? Are you two struggling for money?”_

_“No. Not at all.”_

_“Has he maybe mentioned wanting to make a large purchase? An update to the house? A new car? Perhaps a getaway of some sort?”_

_“No. Our house is fully renovated, he’d never get a new car, and he hasn’t talked about wanting to travel anywhere.”_

_“Has he been acting different too?”_

_“He’s really tired—which I expect from working more hours. But he’s—he’s not as affectionate as usual.”_

_“How so?”_

_“We still kiss, and he’ll still hold me at night but he doesn’t seek out anything more…. And he use to always want more...”_

_He blushed a little admitting that out loud. It was uncomfortable talking about his sex life with his mother but he needed her to have all the facts. Her questions kept going and Castiel kept supplying his answers. No, Dean hasn’t mentioned any new coworkers. No, Cas hasn’t talked to Sam or Bobby about it. Yes, Castiel and Dean still sleep in the same bed. No, Dean doesn’t smell unusual when he comes home. Yes, Dean still asks about his day._

_When Naomi seemed satisfied that she had enough information she settled a hand over top of Castiel’s._

_“Speaking as an outsider, it’s possible, though unlikely, that he’s trying to do something that needs more money—a surprise for you of some sort, probably a trip somewhere. But as your mother and someone who has been through unhealthy relationships…. You’ve seen this happen before, honey. You know what I believe it all points to. Secrets, coming home late, lack of intimacy… it will all eventually turn into you walking in on him with some bimbo draped over the kitchen counter. “_

_Castiel sucked in a breath not believing she too could say such a thing. “…Mother.”_

_“You’re seven years his senior and you’re in a completely different class than him. Did you honestly believe you would hold his attention for long? Boys like aren’t meant for long-term commitment—they just take everything from people like us. We give them our all and they leave us behind to pick up all the pieces. I’d hoped and prayed I raised you better than to fall into a relationship like the ones I’ve been doomed to, but I see that fate has been cruel. I’m so sorry.”_

_“You really believe he’s cheating on me?” His lip was trembling and he knew it was only a matter of time before he started outright crying. Meg and his mother were wrong. They had to be wrong. “Mother, you know him! You know he’s a good man.”_

_“He might have been charming, but that never meant he was good enough for you honey.”_

_“How could you say that?”_

_“Castiel, some part of you must know this is true. If you wanted someone to make excuses and justify his secrets, you would have gone to Anna, someone who is a fan of the greasy mechanic, not someone who has been through two divorces because of adultery.”_

_“But I love him…”_

_“Sometimes love isn’t enough.”_

_“How? How can it not be enough?”_

_“Love it weakness. It blinds us to reality and makes us see what we want to see in those we give our love to.”_

_“What am I going to do?”_

_“Be absolutely certain first. Find proof or ask him outright. Then you leave him before he has a chance to leave you. It’s good that you two never were stupid enough to get married.”_

* * *

He was tired and quite frankly emotionally drained. His clinic was still under construction—permits having taken far too long to get approved by the city—so he was still working at his old job for the time being. He still loved it there, but he was anxious to start the next chapter of his career. Regardless or where, he was still doing what he loved. 

Lately, and tragically, it felt like an absurd amount of animals were being diagnosed with cancer. More and more he was seeing animals with the same symptoms and it broke his heart. The pain the animals were feeling, the pain their owners were feeling…. It was hard to deal with sometimes. Two dogs and one cat had been diagnosed today, and the looks on their young owner’s faces were heartbreaking enough. Sometimes Castiel wished his job were easier, but what made it better was being able to come home to Dean again, even if it was just Castiel’s condo. 

Castiel was wrapped in a blanket on the couch after Dean had unceremoniously dumped him there and told him to relax as he made them both dinner. He could hear Dean trifling around in there, opening and closing draws and cabinets while huffing some choice words to himself. 

“None of your shit is in the right spot.” He grumbled for the eighth time that night. 

“It’s in exactly the right spot. I know where it all goes.” Castiel argued. 

“But it doesn’t make sense. Your can openers are over by the fridge but your cups are all the way by the sink? That’s just not convenient.” 

“Well, I apologize. _You_ organized our kitchen at the house. I was a little too heartbroken to care where things went when I moved here. I didn’t have you to be meticulous with where my silverware should go so the first place it went was where it stayed.”

He didn’t hear an immediate quip back and turned around quickly to see what’d happened. Dean looked a little like he’d been struck in the face. Castiel didn’t understand at first what he’d done wrong but then he realized. He and Dean had been tiptoeing around the breakup for weeks. It was still there, a living entity that they knew they’d have to address as some point or another, but neither of them had worked up the nerve. The breakup still felt so fresh, the pain so real. The fact that they’d both had to try to live a life without each other at some point—it didn’t feel very good. 

“Right… Yeah.” Dean sputtered. “I didn’t mean anything by it. You—you can put things wherever you want them. It’s your place.” 

Castiel didn’t like that tone. He knew all of Dean’s self doubt and self-hate was festering inside him. That Dean was not seeing the countertops surrounding him and the hardwood floor beneath him as beautiful design choices but as the place Castiel had abandoned him for. As the place Dean had driven Castiel off to because he wasn’t good enough. 

Cas pulled himself off the couch. “Dean…” 

“No. I was being stupid. Sorry.” 

“Don’t you dare! You were not being stupid. I shouldn’t have worded it that way.” 

“No. No. I’m just being a baby. It’s fine.” 

“You’re not. Stop doing that.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Castiel wanted to curse this man but settled for holding his face between his hands. “Stop apologizing for everything. Stop avoiding when you’re upset about something. If you’re upset about something you need to talk to me about it. We need to make sure we’re talking about what is upsetting us.” 

“I know, I know.” 

“Thank you.” Castiel leaned in for a kiss, still just as addicted to the taste of Dean as he was since their first kiss. He wished his kisses alone could erase the sadness he could feel lingering beneath the surface of Dean’s skin, but he had an idea of what could help with that. “Do you want to go out to eat? I heard Harvelle’s Steakhouse is amazing.” 

Surprising Castiel, Dean frowned and buried his face in Cas’s shoulder. “Can we—can we just do something here? Or even back at the house? Like a quiet dinner in?” 

“You’re turning down steak?”

“I mean… I want to.” Dean pulled back. He looked uncomfortable, ashamed perhaps? “I just can’t really afford that right now but we can go in a few weeks, give me time to save up a little.” 

“But you wouldn’t be paying for it. I asked you.” 

“You’ve paid for our last few dates. I should pay for the next ones, I just need some time to save up for it.” 

Dean gnawed on his bottom lip and Castiel knew something was wrong. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s totally fine.” The other man tried to shrug it off but Cas wasn’t having that. He knew they needed to be better about communication and he’d be damned if they made the same mistake twice. 

“Dean, we just talked about this, you need to talk to me. Especially if something’s wrong.” 

Dean huffed, long and frustrated before leaving the kitchen and throwing himself on the couch, leaving room for Castiel next to him. “I was just an idiot and left the air running at all times a few times this past month and the bill was just way more than I anticipated. It’s not a big deal. My fault.” 

“I could… “ Castiel knew how Dean would respond but he couldn’t at least offer. He settled on the edge of the couch, ready to hear Dean’s argument once his words were out. “I could help you out if you need.” 

“No. Absolutely not.” Dean shot back quickly. “No. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of it on my own.” 

“I didn’t mean to insinuate that you weren’t.” Cas placated. He didn’t want Dean thinking that Castiel believed he was irresponsible. Dean was actually far better with his money than Castiel ever was, having lived with less he knew how to make it go further than Castiel did. But something else was wrong, he shifted back on the couch to lean against Dean’s side. “Talk to me. What’s really bothering you?”

As he looked over, he could see Dean battling with actually speaking his mind or keeping it bottled up further. In the end the former won out. “It’s just… it’s just frustrating that you always have to take care of me.” 

“I want to—“ 

“I know.” Dean cut him off. “Just… I wanna feel like an equal but I can’t, you know? I know you worked hard for it all, but things—things are just easier for you. You have this fancy new place and a fancy new car, and you’re able to take to me fancy ass restaurants where the waiters actually put the napkin on your lap for you. But me? I’m struggling to pay to keep my air-conditioning and cable on. And I want to take you on nice dates too… not just make cheap pasta that I already have in my pantry and keep you shut in because I don’t have a penny to my name right now. I’m just frustrated that I can’t be better for you.” 

“No.” Castiel felt angry and he could see Dean was worried that he’d upset Cas. 

“What?” He asked Castiel timidly. 

“I don’t accept any of what you just said.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Stop. Stop doing that.” Cas spat out. Why did Dean always think he wasn’t good enough? Why did Dean always belittle himself? Why couldn’t Dean just understand that Castiel would take him any way he could, because Dean was the most incredible human he’d ever known. He threw himself over at Dean, straddling his lap and bracketing the other man in with his arms. His gaze was intense as he looked down, boring into Dean’s soul because he just needed this infuriating man to understand. 

“ _I’m_ the one who should be apologizing for not being good enough. _I’m_ the one between us who is lesser. You, Dean Winchester, are the greatest man I know. You saying all this stuff—it makes me so mad. You’re being unfair to yourself! You and I built that home together, with the knowledge that we _together_ would share the cost. You taking on the financial burden on your own doesn’t mean that you’re not my equal. You’re keeping yourself in your home, on your own. You’re working so hard to support yourself, just like you always have. 

“You have a caring and gentle heart, the most beautiful soul I’ve ever seen. I don’t care about the money or all the fancy shit. I hate that it’s made you feel beneath me. It’s just crap I grew up with, unnecessary flourish. It doesn’t mean anything. I don’t need this fancy condo, I don’t need the fancy car, I don’t need the fancy restaurants with the tiny dishes and obscure deserts. It’s been there my whole life and I’m just accustomed to it. What I do need is you. I’d be happy if it was just you and me living out of the backseat of a car, eating drive through burgers every day if that’s all we could afford. 

“If you want quiet nights in, then we’ll have them. If you want to pay for our dates, I’ll let you. Just promise me you will stop thinking of yourself so negatively. You are so much more than me Dean. You are everything.” 

He didn’t know if there were ever a time where Dean stared at him more in awe, but before he could utter another sound Dean was plastering their mouths together, begging for entrance with his tongue. Castiel was more than happy to oblige. As he was too when Dean pleaded, “Take me to bed.”

* * *

_“Faster, Cas.” It was already an addiction, hearing Dean moaning his name. It lit a fire in him like nothing else ever had. He’d never been so thrilled by the touch of another person. He’d never felt so intensely during the midst of passion. It’d never ever felt like this before. Not until Dean._

_It was the only word he could utter as he thrust in and out of Dean’s pliant body. Over and over, just ‘Dean, Dean, Dean…’ The man beneath him keened, back bowing until his face was pressed to the sheets, his hands griping them in clenched fists._

_“Yes! Yes! Just like that… oh don’t stop.” Dean begged._

_Never, Castiel thought though he’d long been left speechless._

_Never._

_Never._

_Never had it felt like this, all consuming in a way he thought he was drowning yet just learning to breathe for the first time. The fire burning inside of him was raging now, deep within in his soul… burning for this one man, this one man alone._

_He knew as his hands caressed the skin before him, still learning each curve and dip. He knew as he drew his hand around, gripping the hot, heavy weight of Dean’s erection. He knew as he drove harder, more erratic into the tight deliciousness. He knew as he stuttered, burning, melting, through his release._

_He knew this was it._

_Dean was the one._

_He’d known for three weeks and two days now. Everyone said he was crazy. They all said there was no way he could know that he loved this man after one day. But damnit Cas did. They’d spent all night talking, after Dean had replaced his tire. They’d eaten lunch together later that day—that’s when Cas knew he needed to see more of the man. He asked Dean to dinner that night and they talked until the restaurant closed, the two of them the only patrons left, then they’d talked on Castiel’s couch until their eyes were heavy and they had to part. Cas asked to see him the next night, if Dean was available._

_They’d seen each other nearly every day since._

_They’d collapsed into a heap on the bed, Castiel nearly crushing Dean with the weight of him, but if Dean minded he didn’t say. It took several deep breaths before Castiel felt in control of his own limbs again and could roll off of his lover._

_“Oh, fuck, you’re incredible at that.” Dean praised as he chased his breath. Castiel couldn’t help but let the words stroke his ego a little._

_“I happen to want to keep you.” He replied, nudging Dean onto his back so he could kiss him some more. “I’m just pulling out all the stops.”_

_“Mmm well it’s working. You can keep me.” They kissed long enough that the room was suddenly starting to feel cold, without sheets or clothes protecting them, it didn’t help that they were still wet and sticky._

_With a few more kisses, Castiel did his best to climb out of bed despite Dean’s protests. “I’m going to clean us up and grab us food.”_

_“He feeds me too?” Dean sighed. “This must be heaven.”_

_It felt a lot like heaven. No, he wasn’t even sure if heaven would be this good. There was something between the two of them, he and Dean. Something that was far more profound than the lust he knew everyone wrote it off as. But it hadn’t been only lust. There was something about Dean that drew him to the green eyed man. He was gentle and passionate and caring. He’d endured a rough and unstable life, losing both his parents so young and needing to take care of his younger brother and eventually his wheelchair-bound uncle. He was smart, and funny, and knew more about pop culture reference than even the Gilmore Girls and Castiel was falling so hard and so fast._

_It should have scared him._

_It didn’t._

_Not even a little._

_Not when he had Dean walking out of his bedroom, wrapped in a sheet, looking so thoroughly sated that it made Castiel’s dick give a valiant twitch in his pajama bottoms. Not when he watched his favorite smile spread over Dean’s rosy cheese, who was looking at Castiel like he’d just seen the sun for the first time. Not when they kissed, every time like it was the first time, electricity buzzing beneath their skin._

_Not when it felt like this._

_Alone in Castiel’s modest apartment, wrapped around each other, covered by a thin sheet, swaying to beat of the country songs that were playing from the radio on the windowsill._

_Not when it felt this right._

_“I like this song.” Cas whispered, allowing the lyrics to flood the air around them._

_“You do?”_

_“Reminds me of you.” He hummed._

_“Why?”_

_He could see the vulnerability behind Dean’s eyes, like Dean could quite believe that what was happening between them was real. Like he couldn’t trust that Castiel felt this strongly too. But Cas did._

_He felt so much for this man._

_So he pulled Dean closer and smiled at him brightly. “Because I want to believe that God made you for me.”_

_Dean pulled back slightly. Breathless. “Cas…”_

_“You were made for me. Do you feel it too?”_

_Tension washed out of Dean like a wave. “Yes. Yes. I do.” He admitted, pulling his arms around Castiel’s shoulders even tighter._

_Complete elation flooded though Castiel and he couldn’t contain himself. His laughter was full and giddy as he pressed kisses to all of Dean’s face. The music was still playing in the background, and he couldn’t resist asking, “Dance with me?”_

_“Dance with you?”_

_“Yes. Be my dance partner for life.”_

_“You’re crazy.” Dean giggled, actually giggled. It made Castiel’s heart soar._

_It made him brave. “I am. I’m crazy about you.”_

_And maybe it made Dean brave too because his next words were like fireworks, taking Cas’s breath away._

_“I love you.”_

_Castiel couldn’t think of another time in his life where he’d known such happiness—where he’d known is soul that life could not possibly get better than that moment. This was the moment he hoped he lived over and over if he ever made it to heaven. Hearing this man, a man he was so sure he loved as he was sure the sky blue, tell him he felt the same way... nothing could top it._

_He didn’t let Dean wait too long to hear his truth too._

_“I love you too.”_

_It was a kiss like no other. One he’d never have like it again and would always remember. A kiss that writers would agonize over how to put into words the way the world suddenly all made sense; just the two of them, so in love, that nothing else mattered. But Castiel was no writer, so he’d just sum it up to say:_

_It was everything._

_**God gave me you for the ups and downs** _

_**God gave me you for the days of doubt** _

_**For when I think I've lost my way** _

_**There are no words here left to say, it's true** _

_**God gave me you** _

* * *

The days were still not letting up, but Castiel was getting through. After his and Dean’s talk, things were starting to move forward with them. They were doing their best to use their words and talk when things upset them, but it was still a work in progress. It was Friday night though, and Dean had promised his a night of video games and blowjobs so Castiel was starting to perk up at the thought, he already had a bag in his car and was ready to completely unwind with his love. 

He didn’t expect to see Sam Winchester leaning against his car with a scowl that could rival Castiel’s own mother’s. 

“Sam… what are you doing here?” Castiel asked, knowing this couldn’t be anything good. 

“Are you seeing my brother again?” 

“What?” 

“Are you seeing Dean again?” He tone was enraged, and if Castiel didn’t know any better, he’d think Sam was ready to throw punches. 

“What has he told you?” 

Sam hit the top of the car with a loud bang. “Fuck. I knew it.” He was seething. He looked like he might actually hit something but instead Sam walked towards his car. Castiel chased after him, probably a mistake.

“Sam, wait! Can we talk?” 

“Talk about what Castiel?” 

“Everything. Anything. I don’t care. We haven’t spoken for over a year.” 

“And whose fault is that?” 

“I understand you’re upset with me.” 

“Upset? No. ‘Upset’ doesn’t cut it. I’m angry—I’m fucking furious with you.” 

Castiel withered under the glare. “Sam...” 

“No! No!” He moved into Castiel’s space, domineering and hostile. Cas’s heart was pounding in his chest, he’d never once seen Sam this angry. “You don’t get to try and talk to me about shit. I thought Dean was going to kill himself! Every day for the first six months I woke up at least five times in a night to go check on him to make sure he was still breathing, that he hadn’t choked on his own vomit, or that he hadn’t taken the car to go look for you again and accidentally or _purposefully_ ran himself off a bridge. So you don’t get to talk to me. You’re no good for my brother and I don’t want you in his life.” 

This hurt worst than when Castiel’s own mother voiced her disapproval of Dean. This hurt worst because Castiel valued Sam’s opinion, and above all knew that Dean cared about how Sam felt and it would break something in Dean to not have Sam’s blessing. Castiel knew that if Sam never came around, there would be no way he could be with Dean. He would never put a strain on their relationship like that—not even for the sake of his own heart. 

“I love him Sam. I love him more than anything.” Castiel promised. He knew it wouldn’t be enough to make Sam understand but he had to start somewhere. 

“Oh yeah? You love him so much you’d just leave him, never to speak to him again after THINKING he cheated on you?” 

“I made a mistake.” 

“No! A mistake is forgetting your keys or leaving the laundry in the washing machine a day too long. You chose to leave Dean and break his heart. You chose to cut him out of your life because you were a coward and couldn’t talk it out with him first. You made a choice and now you’re just going to hurt him again.” 

“I won’t.” 

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.” 

“I’ll do anything and everything for you to believe me.” 

“It will take an act of God for me to trust you with my brother again. And so help me if you hurt him again I will end you.” 

Castiel couldn’t think of another thing to say, just watched as the younger man slammed his door shut and drove off, leaving Castiel in stunned silence. 

When he had his wits about him again, he called Dean with shaky hands. Dean answered on the second ring.

“Hey baby. Are you on your way over?” 

“Dean…. Sam was here.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Sam was waiting for me as I got off work. He… he asked me if we’ve been seeing each other again.” 

You could almost hear the sound of Dean panicking through the phone. “What did you tell him?” 

“I didn’t say anything. He just figured it out.” 

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!” 

Really, Castiel shouldn’t have been surprised but at that moment he wasn’t thinking entirely straight. “I thought you said you told him!” 

“I told him you and I had talked about what happened and that we’d seen each other a few times to try and heal old wounds.” 

“Dean…” 

“I wasn’t ready to tell him yet!” 

“Why not?” 

Castiel didn’t have to ask. He already knew why Dean didn’t bother telling the most important person in his life that he and Castiel had been together for more than two months now. 

“I don’t know.” Dean answered. So Castiel answered for him. 

“You’re ashamed you took me back.” 

“Cas…” 

“I’ll talk to you at another time.” He wished he sounded stronger but he knew Dean could hear his heartbreak. 

“Baby, don’t do that. Come over, we’ll talk about this.” 

“I think I just need to be alone. I need to think about all of this.” 

He hung up without listening to what Dean was saying on the other line.

* * *

_“You were right.”_

_Meg took one look at him, and he knew what he looked like, before ushering him to the couch. “Oh, Cas, I’m so sorry.” She covered him with a blanket she’d had draped over the back. “What happened?” She asked kindly._

_“He—he’s been getting text messages from a woman for a few weeks now. I don’t usually look at his texts but I was trying to find Jo’s new number and one popped up... from a woman named Lisa. It said: ‘You’re coming by after work?’”_

_“Castiel—I don’t like the guy much, but even I would give him the benefit of the doubt.”_

_“You’re right. And that’s what I did.” He hated that his voice was so frail, it wasn’t long until he started crying. “I tried not to look at his phone but I couldn’t help myself. There weren’t many other messages but the ones that I did see were questionable. Like: ‘Send me pictures of what you want.’ And: ‘I got what you asked for. I’ll show you tonight’—With a winking face! and: ‘I promise he’ll never know.’ But… the last one said: ‘that’s what I love about you Dean Winchester. You’re such a romantic.’”_

_He was fully crying now and he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore. “And all of the ones from him were only short replies…. I think…. I think he was deleting his messages just in case. There had to have been so many more!”_

_“Oh Castiel...”_

_“How could he do this to me?”_

_“He just wasn’t right for you.” Meg’s arms were wrapped around him, suffocatingly tight. He hated the way it felt, her shirt was too scratchy on his skin, her perfume was nauseating… but he was grateful for her support._

_“What do I do?”_

_“You leave his sorry ass.”_

_“Meg, we own a house together. I can’t just up and leave him.”_

_“Fuck him.” She nearly shouted. “If he’s going to cheat on the greatest thing to ever happen to him he deserves to be left in the dust. So fuck him! Do you even want to live in that house with him? Who knows if he’s taken this bitch home and fucked her in your bed!”_

_“He wouldn’t….”_

_“Until today you didn’t believe he’d cheat on you and you were wrong. I say cut all ties and move the fuck on. He’s a low life, fuck boy, Castiel. **You** have a Ph.D. Did you really see yourself being happy with him in the long run?” _

_“I thought I was going to marry him.” Castiel sobbed openly now. “We talked about kids someday!”_

_“He was just using you. No other way to look at it. Take all your shit and get out. A clean break, that’s what you need. Okay? A clean break.”_

_“Where am I going to go?”_

_“Here, obviously.”_

_Castiel looked around the room. It held nothing comforting too him. Too many skulls, too many deep, blood colored objects. But _here_ didn’t have a cheating boyfriend and the reminder that Castiel wasn’t good enough to keep the man of his dreams. _

_Here could be okay. Even if he wasn’t._

* * *

Dean was waiting for him on his couch. At the moment, Cas regretted giving him his spare key. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He wanted to curl up in his bed and feel hurt because he wasn’t ever going to be enough… he’d never be able to take back what he did and he’d never fully have Dean back. There would always be something broken between them. 

And it was all his fault. 

Dean was the one to speak first. 

“You said we needed to talk about our problems. Hanging up like a child is not talking about it.” 

Castiel threw his bag and keys onto the dining room table. “I don’t want to do this.” 

“Who wants to do this?” Dean argued, staying grounded in the middle of the living room. “Who wants to fight with their partner and deal with unpleasant shit? I didn’t come here because I want to fight with you, I came here because we need to talk about this.” 

He really didn’t want to do this. He knew the minute the words crossed his lips that he’d be setting himself up for complete heartbreak. But he had to do it, he needed to know if he had any hope. “What are we even doing?” 

“What do you mean?” 

There was a countertop and a couch separating them, but it felt like miles. “We’ve been doing this—what ever this is—for months now Dean. You didn’t tell Sam about me and he had to quite literally corner me to find out, which means you haven’t told Bobby either. You refuse to come around my family or even meet up with just Anna. And you haven’t even asked me to move back in… we’ve been back together longer than we even dated before you moved in with me the first time.” 

“It’s not as cut and dry as you make it sound.” 

To see how far they’d fallen…. Once the mere fact that they’d said they loved each other was enough to move in together. Now years of a relationship together, months of building back together after losing one another, and genuine declarations of love weren’t enough to be together. Castiel could already feel himself lose Dean all over again. Could feel the darkness slipping into his chest. “Then tell me what it is so I know what I need to do.” 

“I don’t know.” Dean answered, nothing in his voice to give away his thoughts. 

“Do you even want this?” Castiel pleaded. He couldn’t take it if Dean said no. 

“Of course I want this!” 

Neither of them had moved from where their feet were planted. Neither of them moved to the other for reassurance. Neither of them knew how they found themselves here. “Do you? Because it doesn’t feel like it.” 

“You know I love you.” Dean’s eyes challenged Castiel to question him, yet he still did not move towards him.

“Then what is it?” Cas begged. “Why are you so ashamed to be with me?”

“I don’t know.” 

“You do know! Please just tell me. I can’t read your mind!” 

It was like watching explosion of a homemade volcano, you know its coming but you still gasp when it happens. “I can’t stop picturing you leaving! Every time I see you I remember how it felt when you walked out. I can’t fucking get over it Cas. You left me! You left and I had nothing.” 

“Dean…” 

“No! Don’t promise me that you’re never going to leave me again. You don’t know that! You swore before that you’d never leave me, that you’d never hurt me but you did! You thought so little of me that you thought I’d cheat on you. You never even bothered to ask. I’ve never loved someone like I loved you but it still wasn’t good enough. I still wasn’t good enough.” 

“You’re more than good enough!” Castiel bellowed, needing Dean to hear him. Needing him to know this truth. “You have always been more than good enough!” 

“Then why! Why didn’t you ever ask me if it was true! Why did you leave me so easily? Why didn’t you come back? 

This was what everything boiled down to, “Because I never deserved you to begin with.” 

“I tried so hard to get you back.” Dean was crying now, still frozen in place while the tears ran freely down his cheeks. “I begged everyone. I begged your fucking mother on her front porch.” 

“I know…” Castiel cried, his whole body trembling. 

“You know?!” Dean’s face screamed complete betrayal, like Castiel had just pulled the rug out from under him. “You knew and you didn’t come back? To let me just explain?” 

If the counter weren’t there, Castiel may have fallen on his knees. “I’m so sorry.” 

“I don’t know if I can get over it.” Dean finally admitted, sobbing into each word. “I don’t know if this pain will ever go away. I don’t know if I trust you the way I did before.” 

“What do you need from me? I’ll do anything.” He knew he was begging but the thought of losing Dean again was enough to make him insane. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if we can be fixed or if we even should be.” 

It felt like dying all over again.

* * *

_“Is he here?”_

_“I’ve told you this before, you need to get off my property Dean Winchester!”_

_“Please! Is he here?! Tell me where he is. I can’t find him. I’ve been calling him. I’ve been calling **everyone** and no one will tell me anything. God please, Anna let me see him if he’s here. I need to see him. I need to fix this. I can’t fucking lose him. Oh God please.” _

_Castiel tried to take a calming breath, tried to tell himself that this didn’t hurt. That it was a good thing Dean was in this much pain… that he should feel as awful as Castiel did. He couldn’t see Dean, as he himself was hidden away in Anna and her fiancé’s living room, but he could picture the hurt on Dean’s face. Maybe he was losing sleep like Castiel was. Maybe he couldn’t bother shaving or showering like Castiel couldn’t._

_“You need to leave.” He heard Anna command softly. The traitorous part of him wished she’d invite Dean in, against his previous requests. Castiel tried not to eaves drop, but who could blame him?_

_“Is he okay?” He heard Dean plead. “At least tell me if he’s safe.”_

_“Dean…”_

_“Anna I can’t fucking breathe without him. I don’t know what to do! I just need him back.”_

_“He’s asked to have no contact with you and I respect his wishes. I won’t tell you where he is.”_

_“But you’ve seen him? God Anna, tell him to come home. Please? Tell him I love him and we can fix this. I’ll do anything to fix this. Anything.”_

_“Goodbye Dean.”_

_He was probably mistaken what he heard from the other side of the doorway, but a part of him swore he heard Dean sob. Dean didn’t love him enough to care. Why was he even bothering to find him? Lisa was probably waiting for him at home… what did he need Castiel for?_

_Anna came back into the room looking like she’d seen a ghost. “Castiel are you sure Dean cheated on you?”_

_“I’m sure.”_

_She took a seat on the coffee table, looking pityingly down at her cousin. Castiel knew he was a mess. “But how sure?” She asked patiently. “I know you could hear him but you couldn’t **see** him, and Castiel he looked distraught. I’ve known him for years and I’ve never seen him so broken. He looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks.” _

_“He did that to himself.”_

_“But do you know for sure? Do you really? What is your basis for thinking that Dean Winchester, who has been so excruciatingly in love with you since he laid eyes on you, could possibly cheat?”_

_Castiel shut his eyes, trying to ward off the tears. It had been weeks since he’d cried but they still threatened to come back. “You didn’t see the texts.”_

_“You’re right. But I truly believed you jumped to conclusions.”_

_“How would you know?” He shot back, feeling like a raw nerve. “You weren’t there! Anna he was always working, and I hardly ever saw him. And when I did he would barely talk, he’d just eat and go to bed. We hadn’t had sex in a month! A month! And before he wasn’t able to take his hands off of me. It’s like everything just suddenly switched. And then this woman, this **Lisa** said that she loved him and I just knew it was over. I couldn’t sit around and wait for him to break my heart. I couldn’t let him break me like that.” _

_“You never even asked him about the texts?”_

_“Just to hear the man I thought I was going to spend my life with tell me he fell in love with someone else?”_

_She looked like she was torn between yelling at him or hugging him. He wasn’t sure what he wanted either. “I just don’t think Dean would do that. I know he loves you more than anything.”_

_“You’re wrong.” Cas replied morosely, rolling away to face the back of the couch. “And it’s too late.”_

* * *

He didn’t know if it was the right thing to do but he couldn’t sit around and keep doing nothing. He spent the better part of the weekend moping around and feeling sorry for himself, wondering how long it would take to get over losing Dean again. Not much else had been said that night. Dean had just walked out without so much as a goodbye. 

Castiel hadn’t heard from him since. 

It’d been two days and Castiel was already going insane. He didn’t know what he was going to do, what he could do… what he should do. 

Did Dean only want Cas to give him some space? 

Was this just a break? 

Was this permanent and that was the last time they’d ever see each other? 

Should Castiel go and fight for Dean? 

What would he even do? 

All he knew was that it hurt. That not having Dean fall asleep in his arms hurt, that not hearing the love of his life’s voice at the end of the day, or being able to say that he loved Dean hurt. 

He didn’t want to hurt like this anymore. 

So he grabbed his keys and stumbled out of his house, sweatpants and all, and drove. He didn’t know if this was his best idea or his worst, but he figured any chance to win Dean back once and for all was a chance he needed to take. 

He parked himself in front of the familiar blue house, and hesitantly made his way to the front door. It didn’t take as long for the door to swing open and a familiar gruff voice to start yammering. “I was wonderin’ when you’d be stoppin’ by to grovel.” 

“It’s good to see you again, Bobby.” 

“Can’t say the feelings mutual.” 

Cas figured this was already off to a better start than he’d expected. At least there was no shotgun in his face. “May I come in?” 

“How else do you expect to persuade me not to grab out my gun? By leavin’? You are awful good at that.” 

That stung a little, but it wasn’t wrong. “I know.” 

Castiel followed Bobby into the cluttered home, finding a seat on the couch by the window as Bobby wheeled himself to the fridge. He threw a beer curiously close to Castiel’s head before speaking. “So what do you want?” 

Cas wanted a lot of things but above all he wanted one thing most. “How’s Dean?” 

The older man pressed the bottle to his lips and took a long drag before settling it back down on his knee. “Well he’s not drinking himself half to death this time.” Bobby’s words were cold and his eyes made Castiel wilt. 

“You need to know that I never intended to hurt Dean.” 

“Did a pretty shoddy job of it.” 

“I know. I know.” He hung his head in shame. He’d been such a fool. “But Bobby, I’ll never do that again. I will _never_ hurt him again. I know you and Sam will probably never trust me and I don’t blame you in the slightest, but I swear to you that I’d rather die before I hurt Dean like I did. I love him.” 

For his tough exterior, Bobby did have a kind heart—much like Dean himself. And Bobby’s soft spot was no doubt the two Winchester brothers. He looked at the two boys like his own sons, so Castiel knew what he had to say would come from a place of fierce protectiveness. Bobby only wanted what was best for Dean, and Castiel knew the older man would be unapologetically honest if he didn’t think that that person was Cas. 

Bobby’s jaw clenched a few times as he pondered what to say. “You know, I thought for a while there that you were the one for him. The kid never let himself have something good. Always putting me and Sammy before himself. Making sure we were both okay first.” Bobby looked down at his lap, smiling proudly just at the thought of Dean. 

He sobered quickly and looked Castiel in the eye. “Did you know he had two good girls way before you?” Castiel nodded an affirmation when Bobby paused. “Thought he was gonna marry one of the them too—Cassie her name was. But when I asked him why he never did, he just said that it didn’t felt right. Something was _missing_ he said.

“But after meeting you…” Bobby shook his head, and huffed—shaking off some unwanted emotion. “After _one damn week_ that he’d known you, the idjit told me he was gonna marry you someday. I told him he was a damn fool for thinking he’d marry a guy he barely knew. But then I met you, saw how you looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky and I thought maybe the kid was onto something. Every year I waited for him to tell me you two had run off to Vegas or something crazy like you’d probably do. Then you were just gone. 

Castiel didn’t know when the tears happened but they were there, dripping off his chin. That didn’t deter Bobby from continuing with his speech. 

“The pain I watched him go through. I knew how bad it was for him, knew how he was dying in a way that no one could pull him back from because I’d died like that before too. When my Karen died I thought I’d never recover, I though I’d never know how to breathe again—and I had to watch my boy go through that feeling, all because you didn’t bother to ask him if you were wrong. 

“And despite all that he _still_ loves you. I knew you two had found your way back to each other after the weddin’. It was in his eyes—the way he was seeing light again instead of darkness. Every day I’ve seen him since, he’s looked better than he has in a year and I just worry that it’s not going to last. I worry that he’s just some love sick fool you’re stringing along because it makes you feel better about yourself—that you’re waiting for someone your family would approve of and having fun with Dean in the meantime. I thought I’d had you figured out before, but then you left… now I don’t know what to think.” 

“He is the love of my life.” 

Their eyes met each other and Castiel knew Bobby was sizing him up, judging for himself just how sincere Castiel’s words were. The older man tried to sound gruff when he spoke but Castiel could see the kindness barely under the surface, and he knew Bobby believed him. “Make sure he knows it.” The man commanded. 

“What do I do? He doesn’t trust me anymore.” 

“Would you trust him if the roles were reversed?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Just do what feels right. If I had a second chance with my Karen I’d do anything to let her know what she means to me. I’d do everything with her I promised I always would but didn’t have the chance the first time.” He moved close enough to plant a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Don’t waste your second chance. There won’t be a third.”

* * *

_He was laughing so much his abs hurt and tears were streaming down his face._

_“Helga?”_

_“No!” He said through the loudest laugh of all. Dean too was cackling more than Cas had ever heard him. It was music to his ears. He wanted Dean this happy always._

_“Guido?”_

_“Oh lord. No!”_

_Dean could barely keep in his snorts as he suggested, “Bertha and Vinny?”_

_“Stop it! I’m dying here. Those are ridiculous.”_

_Dean collapsed onto Cas’s chest, trying his best to real in his hysteric laughter. When they’d both pulled themselves together, Dean settled his chin on Cas’s sternum, looking at him with a dopey smile. “What names do you like?”_

_Castiel had never really thought about it before, what he’d name his future kids. He didn’t know what qualified as good names or poor names. “Daisy? Rose?” He suggested after a beat._

_“For our dogs? Or for our daughters?”_

_“Since you had to ask that, we’re going to go with no to both.” They giggled a little more before Castiel had an idea. “What about Robert for a son?”_

_Dean smiled sweetly and nodded. “Maybe as a middle name. I don’t think Bobby would react well if our kid got it as a first name.”_

_“I think you’re right… We could name a daughter Mary, after your mother?”_

_The look of adoration on Dean’s face melted Cas’s heart. The kiss they shared too was so filled with love he could taste it. “That’s really sweet, baby.” Dean cooed. “But, I think that name just holds too much pain. Too many sad memories.”_

_“I understand.”_

_“What about James and Paige?” Dean asked excitedly, “For Jimmy Page.”_

_Leave it to his boyfriend to want to name their kids after members of a band. He couldn’t deny it was just the thing Dean would do. “I don’t hate them.” Cas supplied._

_“They can go on the list?”_

_Castiel nodded happily. “As long as we can have a dog named Pongo.”_

_“Your love for that movie is insane.”_

_“Hey! It’s why I became a vet!”_

_“I love you so much you big freak.”_

* * *

He didn’t know why he found himself at his mother’s dressed in his in sweatpants but he was there and it seemed like as good a place as ever to start his mission in winning Dean back, once and for all. 

“Oh, look who thought to finally stop by.” She said by way of greeting as she opened the front door. 

“Mother, please, don’t be that way.” 

“Ever since that boy sank his hooks into you again, I have hardly seen you.” 

“Will you please stop calling him that?” 

“Look at you.” Naomi scoffed, finally taking in Castiel’s outward appearance. “What has he done this time?” 

“Nothing!” 

His mother pursed her lips and moved towards the kitchen, he didn’t have the energy to argue and followed suit. 

“If nothing is going on, then why do you look like you haven’t showered in days?” 

He had to fight back the urge to roll his eyes. “Because sometimes shit happens mother! Sometimes we have bad days. We can’t all be perfect like you!” 

“You’re acting like a child.” She scolded, coldly. 

“I shouldn’t have come.” 

“Why _are_ you here?” 

“Because, maybe I thought coming to my mother for advice would be a logical thing to do.” 

“The first and last time you came here for my advice had to do with that boy, so what is it this time? I _told,_ you, you should have never taken him back. Even if he didn’t actually cheat on you, he’s still so far beneath you honey. You could do so much better than him.” 

He stared at her blankly, wondering how she could speak words so hurtful about the man he loved. How she couldn’t look past her own heartbreaks and realize that maybe Castiel knew what was best for himself more than she did. How she couldn’t see past her own prejudices and realize that a man like Dean Winchester was more than worth being loved. 

He tried to form words to tell her how wrong she was but nothing came. 

He could hear music coming from the kitchen’s radio, and suddenly felt his heart clench. _God gave me you for the ups and downs…._

It was the song. 

The one song that never failed to take him back to that moment, that perfect moment where he knew, with certainty, that he and Dean were it. He’d wish, in the year apart, that he could just fly back to that moment and live in it forever, but that wish never did come true. 

What he had now was the chance to make it happen. He had the chance to live a life where he and Dean never doubted what they meant to each other; to spend every day of forever together. 

He first had to strike down anyone who doubted that their love wasn’t enough. Because it was enough, it was more than enough. 

“His name is Dean!” Castiel nearly shouted. “And he is everything to me mother. I’m sorry that you can’t look past your own personal issues with men, but Dean is the best man I have ever known, and the fact that you compare him to the men you’ve chosen for yourself disgusts me. Dean _never_ cheated on me. It was all a misunderstanding. I let my fear of not being good enough; my fear that I was too old for him, too bland for him, cloud my judgment. I let you and Meg tell me how much Dean cared for me instead of listening to him myself. 

“Dean Winchester is a _great_ man, Mother. He is caring and loyal and funny and he takes better care of the people around him than anyone I’ve ever met. He’s the hardest worker I’ve ever met—he will do absolutely anything to ensure that is family is safe and happy even if it’s a burden on himself. He constantly puts others before himself. Knowing him he’d throw himself in front of a train for _you_ even though you’ve never given him the time of day. 

“And Mother, he _loves_ me. He loves me more than I will ever deserve. I’ve hurt him in a way I cannot forgive myself for, yet he still loves me more than anyone ever will. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? I don’t care that he isn’t as wealthy as our family. I don’t care that he has a GED or that he’s a mechanic—I love those things about him. I’m in love with everything about him. So if you can’t accept that. If you continue to think he isn’t worth my time and that I could possibly find better than him, then you won’t be a part of my life anymore. 

“You won’t get to be at our wedding, you won’t get to meet your future grandchildren, and you won’t get to be welcomed into our home ever again because I swear to you that I am going to have the life I want and it _will_ be with Dean Winchester. 

It’s your choice.” 

He didn’t bother to wait for her response. 

He had somewhere he needed to be.

* * *

_He knew he was going to be sick. Every single cell in his body felt **wrong.** _

_He wasn’t going to be able to do this._

_His heart rate was dangerously high._

_He couldn’t do this._

_**‘That’s what I love about you Dean Winchester’** _

_He had to keep repeating the words of the message to himself. Someone else loved Dean. Dean had trapped someone else, forced them to fall in love just as hard as Castiel had. How could they not fall for Dean’s sweet promises, and soft dimpled smiles? How could they not feel enraptured by those green eyes that promised the world?_

_Each item he threw into his suitcase felt like a part of his soul being shredded. Only the essentials, he couldn’t take anything more—not with the way the tears were falling—not with the way everything reminded him of Dean. Take only the essentials. The things purchased before Dean..._

_There wasn’t much._

_How was he going to give it all up? How was he ever going to live without Dean?_

_No more perfect nights in, cuddling on the couch. No more classic rock sing off battles while brushing their teeth. No more nights running through the pouring rain just because it was Dean’s idea. No more weekend mornings with breakfast in bed and lazy, slow sex because they still couldn’t get enough of each other. No more fights over who had to clean the dishes or who forgot to fold the laundry (always Cas). No more family dinners, holding hands under the table, whispering about what pretentious things Cas’s family was probably saying behind their backs. No more dreams of the life they thought they could have together._

_No future kids. No future dogs. No future wedding. No future at all because Dean chose a new future. Chose someone else to have those dreams with. Someone else who loved him now…_

_It felt like a lifetime that he waited at the kitchen island, one last back slung by the door because he didn’t have the energy to haul it out to the car._

_He didn’t know what he was going to say—he’d tried to form a speech in his mind but all he could come up with was_

_why don’t you love me anymore, why don’t you love me anymore,_

_why don’t you love me_

_why_

_His body trembled violently as the garage door opened and shut. Each fall of boots on the flooring made his heart fall further into his stomach. He was going to be sick._

_“Hey baby, do you wanna order pizza tonight?” Dean asked casually, dumping his keys on the counter next to the coffee pot. He hadn’t looked at Castiel yet. “I know I’m taking you out tomorrow but I don’t feel like cooking tonight. I’m pooped.”_

_Any and all words were stuck in his throat. It didn’t take Dean long to become alert. “Cas? “Hey, what’s wrong?”_

_Castiel could hear his breathing coming out in jagged lines, he couldn’t look further than the counter. “Sweetheart, talk to me. Are you feelings sick? You’re scaring me.”_

_Was this really going to be their final conversation? Was this really how it all ended? In their kitchen, asking about whether pizza was alright?_

_Castiel looked to the front door, seeing the luggage taunting him… mocking him for not being strong enough to say what he needed to say. He saw Dean’s eyes follow his line of sight._

_“We going somewhere?” The was a rough edge to Dean’s voice… “Why aren’t you talking to me? What is going on? Are you going somewhere?”_

_Cas couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do this. He tried to tell himself what needed to be done. Tried to tell himself what Meg had told him: A clean break. A clean break is what you need._

_The proverbial bandage being ripped off._

_“Tell me it’s just a trip for work.”_

_Castiel finally looked up, finally looked up in time to see life drain out of those features he so adored. “No… no. No.” Dean looked like he’d been gutted, and…._

_It wasn’t fair!_

_It wasn’t fair that he could look like he was hurting so much when Castiel was in sheer agony. He’d had his heart ripped out of his chest yet Dean Winchester thought he could look so hurt?_

_It was enough to bring the words to Cas’s mouth. “I didn’t think it’d ever come to this with us… I never thought you'd do this Dean. I—I didn't think you were that type of guy, that this was what our relationship was going to amount to. W-w-was this really the type of future you thought I’d want with you?”_

_“You’re leaving?”_

_Castiel couldn’t stick around to listen. He hopped off the bar stool and made his way to the door, shrugging off Dean’s arm when he tried to grab him._

_“No, please.” Dean begged, “Let’s talk. Just talk to me. We can fix this. Let’s just talk about it.”_

_Talking would prolong this too much and Castiel was about ready to break. His hand wrapped around the handle of the bag._

_“Baby please no.”_

_The door opened easier than he’d expected, the distance to the car shorter than he remembered._

_“Cas, don’t do this.”_

_The bag slid into the backseat smoothly._

_“Don’t do this. You promised you’d never leave me. You promised!”_

_He turned to looked at Dean, standing on their front porch, gripping the railing like he couldn’t hold himself up. “Why are you doing this?” Dean pleaded, it looked like he was crying but Castiel couldn’t look at him long._

_The passenger door was now opened and Dean was flying down the steps._

_“Cas, baby, tell me what I did wrong.” Dean’s boot caught on the edge of one of the cobblestones that lead to their front door and suddenly he was on his knees, crawling towards the car. **I told him to get that fixed…. ‘It’s a wobble-stone, Cas, get it?’**_

_Fuck. He was crying over a fucking rock. He needed to go._

_He couldn’t watch this._

_He couldn’t…. Every single part of him was hard wired to run to Dean. Run to him and make him stop hurting._

_“I’m so sorry!” Dean had never openly sobbed like this before. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll fix it, Cas. I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it.”_

_But Cas was hurting too. He was hurting more than he thought possible._

_Before he could fling himself out of the car and forgive Dean for everything… Castiel threw the car in reverse._

_He tried not to notice how Dean chased after the car._

_He tried not to notice…_

_He thought it’d be a weight off his shoulders, leaving Dean and the lies that were growing between them. To be rid of a man who didn’t love him enough to stay faithful, but all he could feel was regret._

_He wasn’t delusional enough to think he’d ever feel the same again—you don’t love someone like that and expect to keep all of yourself when you lose them. So he knew he left a piece of him behind on that gravel driveway, a huge gaping piece of himself that now left a void he had no hope to ever be filled again._

_He didn’t want to love like that again anyway. The pain was too much._

_His phone chimed in his passenger seat. He wanted to ignore it but he knew Meg was waiting on him._

_**Meg:** Have you left the fuckboy yet? _

_Cas found himself driving far away from the street he needed to turn that would have taken him to Meg’s house._

* * *

Dean never did get the cobble stone fixed. It wobbled under Cas’s foot as he stepped over it, tugging at Cas’s heart in a way a rock shouldn’t be able to do. Everything about that gravel path made his heart ache, a reminder of the worst choice he’d ever made. 

Tonight he would fix it. 

He’d try to at least, with everything in his power. He’d try. 

He stared at the large oak door, the one he vividly remembers battling with Dean over—Dean had insisted they go with oak but Castiel thought mahogany was the better choice. In the end Castiel couldn’t say no to Dean’s wishes, he loved seeing that proud smile that always crossed his love’s face. 

The door before him felt like the final barrier; once it opened he’d either have Dean forever or he wouldn’t. 

He trusted his heart though, and in his heart, this felt right—this was where he was meant to be. Terrified yet certain in his actions, Castiel knocked. His heart was in his throat as the two minutes he waited for the door to unlock ticked away, the slowest minutes he’d ever endured. 

The light above the door flipped on and Cas’s breath caught in his throat. _This is it._

“Cas?” 

So much sadness resided in Dean’s gentle green eyes, almost hiding himself behind the door. It made Castiel ache to reach out to him and never let him go. But he had to earn that right first. Cas wanted, _needed,_ to bare his soul to this man first, because Dean deserved that from him. 

There wasn’t a formal speech planned or even a general starting point, but Castiel started speaking anyway. “I refuse to lose you.” He spoke, directly into the space between them, refusing to break eye contact with the man before him. “I know you’re scared, and I know you think that I might just up and leave you again but Dean Winchester, you are my heart and soul. If there is one truth in this universe it’s that I’m going to love you until my dying breath.” 

The door opened further, Dean subconsciously moving towards Cas. Castiel didn’t reach out, not yet—he still had more he needed to say. 

“I know you have every reason to not take me back. I failed to trust in our plans once before, I failed to trust in our promises, I failed to trust in our love—but I won’t make the same mistakes twice. I know you’d never lie to me, I know you’d never betray me, and I know you will always love me as much as I love you. So this is what I’m asking you to trust in now:”

He stepped forward until there was only a foot of space between then, offering his hands out to Dean if the green eyed man desired to take them. Blessedly he did, lacing their fingers together effortlessly. Castiel poured everything he felt into his words. 

“Trust me when I say I plan to come home to you every day, wake up to you every morning, raise a family with you, and grow old with you. Trust me when I say I plan to argue with you until you make me scream because of course we’re going to argue—but I plan to make love to you until we’re boneless and breathless too. Please trust me when I say I plan to love only you for eternity because you are the one for me. I know I hurt you and I will never forgive myself for doing so but _trust me_ when I swear that I will never ever break your heart again. I belong to you. I will always belong to you, my beloved.” 

Dean’s gaze was unwavering, and Castiel felt brave like the first time he heard Dean say he loved him. “I’m not asking you to marry me right now—although I’d marry you this very moment if I could. I’m not asking you because I want that to be _your_ decision to open your heart up to me like that if you ever desire to again. Just know that if you ever do, my answer is yes and it will always be yes.”

There was a long pause as Dean processed it all, but finally he said what Castiel needed to hear most. “Come home. Stay with me, and please don’t ever leave again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so crossing my fingers that this was what you all wanted and that it's as well received and He Wouldn't Be Gone. If it is, somewhere in the future I'm hoping to get one more work posted in this universe, possibly a multi-chapter.
> 
> I am eternally grateful for those of you who continue to read my works and share your love for these characters. It means more to me than I can express! 
> 
> I have Tumblr (but I'm kind of crappy at using it) if you'd like to come say hi over there! [turningthepaiges](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/turningthepaiges)
> 
> <3 Paige
> 
>  
> 
> [He Didn’t Have to Be](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9686360/chapters/21867404%20) Dean is 23 years old and raising his 3 year old brother Sam as his own. Castiel comes into their life and Dean falls hard and fast but quickly begins to question if he’s even worthy of being loved. Sammy is the most adorable toddler to ever live. 
> 
> [Don’t You Wanna Stay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634991) Cas has been in love with Dean since high school and when Dean and him go from best friends to falling into a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship Cas thinks he’s happy with the situation. But five years later Cas starts questioning if this is really the kind of life he wants. He loves Dean but he’s sick of getting hurt.
> 
> [Sleep Without You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775289/chapters/23899212) Dean and Cas have known each other basically all their life and are very close. Close as in, they sleep (and cuddle) in the same bed together every night but… they deny that they are together. During a weeklong trip with their friends the two start to figure out that there might be something more between them.
> 
> [There Goes My Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011787/chapters/27182904%20) (WIP) Dean never expected the night he was going to ask Cas to be his that Cas would come home with a baby. 
> 
> [Alright](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11589315/chapters/26046594%20) (WIP) Dean’s grown up with a good head on his shoulders. Cas has grown up being overlooked, never knowing what friendship is. Dean makes it his mission to be the friend he knows Cas deserves.


End file.
